50 shades of black: Is my black different than your black?

Colorism is a big underlying problem in the black community. Sometimes people do it unknowingly because we are so used to it. But what is colorism exactly? In short, it is the discrimination of someone in the same racial group as you based off of skin tone. It doesn’t only happen within the black community, in fact, most racial groups deal with colorism. Especially ones that have varies of shades.

Usually, when talking about racism, prejudice, discrimination and mistreatment, it’s from outside of our own group. But what do you do when the hate comes from within? Well, what can you do?

 

Colorism is a big underlying problem in the black community. Sometimes people do it unknowingly because we are so used to it. But what is colorism exactly? In short, it is the discrimination of someone in the same racial group as you based off of skin tone. It doesn’t only happen within the black community, in fact, most racial groups deal with colorism. Especially ones that have varies of shades.

 

Within the black community, colorism can be taken back to the days of slavery. Like most of the problems, black people have start from. The most famous situation being house slaves vs field slaves.

House slaves would live in the house with the masters. Cooking and cleaning for them and taking care of the children. And even though it was illegal for a slave to learn how to read and write, house slave sometimes did because of the children and mistresses in the house. Many considered being a house slave a privilege. Not having to bare the heat from the hot sun and back breaking work like field slaves. Most of the time’s house slave didn’t complain about their positions either out of fear of punishment. They were usually lighter in complexion due to the fact that they were in the sun that much, and because often house slaves were the children of raped field slaves and their white masters. Even though they were still a slave, because their mother was a slave, the master usually wouldn’t make them work out in the fields and brought them into the homes instead. This would lead mistress to mistreat, bully and even beat house slaves because of the relationship they sometimes had with her husband.

 

Field slaves worked outside. Picking cotton, tobacco and whatever else crops were being grown. They were usually darker skin because of constantly being in the sun. Their living conditions were worst than the house slaves. Living in huts and shacks. Often having to make meals from the scraps of the master’s meals. They were beaten regularly with very little regard for their lives. Field slave could even be forced to have children just so the slave owner could have more slaves for free. They often didn’t receive medical care and were forced to work until they couldn’t anymore. Neither were treated like humans. Slave, in general, was treated like animals, field slaves, though, perhaps even less than that.

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Regardless of where you worked on the plantation, women were both subject to rape, men were beaten even killed for just looking at a white man wrong. It was a bad situation either way. But without a doubt, as far as living conditions and treatment, field slave were treated worst.

This were the beginning steps toward dividing black people among ourselves. Was it done on purpose? Did slave master treat house slaves and field slave different on purpose? Who knows. In theory, I would say that making one-half feel less than the other half would probably greatly decrease the changing of a big uprising from occurring. Can’t fight the white man if you’re too busy fighting each other. Both house slaves and field slave were both slaves and were treated as such, in different ways but still disrespected and humiliated. Enduring pain and suffering all the same. But this was just the beginning.

 

The effects of slavery are still felt today, but, even more so during the civil rights moments. At that time, black people had just started to integrate themselves into society. During Jim crow, a number of laws were put into place to make sure that black people understood that even though they were free, they most certainly were not equals and would not be treated as such. Segregation between blacks and whites were at an all time high. And it wasn’t much better among the black community itself.

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The Brown paper bag test was a test that was used to grant privileges to black people. If you were the same color as the bag or lighter, you were good. If you were darker than the bag, you would be denied. This was used on black people, by other black people. Used in schools when accepting students, used at parties to grant access in. It was literally used to determine someone’s worth. Their right to an education and overall their self-esteem. With the entire social system already against us, we were still dividing ourselves, among ourselves.

 

Fast forward a bit. Even though the paper bag is gone, still terms like team light skin, team dark skin, light skin nigga are still very much alive in the black community. With very little thought about it. Light skin girls are thought to be more desirable but also full of themselves. Dark skin girls are thought to be sassy and angry. Light skin men are seen as weak and “pretty boys”, While dark skin men are seen as ruthless. Now logically, we know that the color or even shade of your skin does not in any way determine someone’s beauty, attitude or worth. But because for so long, we have been conditioned to this way of thinking, we now see it as such.

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So first, we are dividing by the white man, then we divide ourselves. And although they started it, we can not use that as an excuse. Colorism is alive today because we allow it to be.  I hear people all the time say thing how they hope they don’t have dark skinned children, even though they are dark themselves. People say they won’t date a dark skinned man or woman. I have personally been called stuck up, strictly based on the fact that I am light skinned. People tell me all the time I’m not full black because I’m light skinned.

Is there a privilege to being light skinned? Most certainly. I know that first hand. When people tell me, ” I don’t date black girls, but I would date you, cause you light skinned.” I understand that as a light skinned black woman, I am seen closer to white than a dark skinned woman is. Because we all know the closer you are to white, the more you alright. But I still get mistreated by dark skinned women too. and that hurts. But I can’t be mad because have continued to let colorism live and grow. We have allowed this way of thinking for too long. Allowing light skin girls to believe they are beauty because they are light skinned. Allowed dark skin girls to think that they aren’t enough. Having to hear,” you’re pretty for a dark skin girl. I wrote a post about ” The most disrespected person in America.” it’s the black woman. But maybe even more, the dark skinned black woman.

We have got to stop this now. It has been going on for way too long. We need to unite as a people. with arms wide open and lots of love to spread. There is already too many different things against us right now that we can not afford to be against each other.

 

If you haven’t already check out documentaries “Dark Girls” which talk about colorism from the side of dark skin girl. Also, Oprah did one from the side of light girls called “Light Girls”. Both are very great at getting in depth on both sides of the coin so to speak.

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The Most Disrespected Person In America

It hard living in America. Even harder when you’re not white. Extra hard if you’re not a man. Extremely hard if you’re a black man. But what about when all the cards are against you? Black women can not do or say anything without being criticized one way or another.

Malcolm x once said,

The most disrespected woman in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.

It hard living in America. Even harder when you’re not white. Extra hard if you’re not a man. Extremely hard if you’re a black man. But what about when all the cards are against you? Black women can not do or say anything without being criticized one way or another.

 

If I wear a weave, I’m trying to be white.

If I wear my natural hair, it’s nappy, unprofessional and ugly

If I like fancy things, I’m boujee.

If I like thrifty stuff, I’m ghetto

If I talk proper, I sound white

If I talk slang, then I’m uneducated

Can’t win for losing. We are closely being watched and silently, and sometimes not so silently judged.

 

For too long now, the Black woman has been label as “The angry black woman”.

 

 

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You wanna know why she mad?

 

I don’t know about yall, but I can do without the negative adjectives in front of Black woman.

Angry Black Woman

Sassy Black Woman

Ghetto Black Woman.

If you must use descriptive words how about we try

Angry  Beautiful Black woman

Sassy Loving Black Woman

Ghetto  Amazing Black Woman.

All of those are acceptable. If you think that I personally and angry or maybe just upset at certain situations, then call me angry. Do not label ALL Black women as angry because that is not the case. I’ve seen plenty or angry Black women. And I’ve seen just as many angry Latin women, and angry Asian women and angry White women, but that title doesn’t seem to follow and get past along to every single one of them. Because being angry is not a DNA trait. Sure as hell isn’t a trait of all black women. It is an emotion.Which could be expressed by anyone, any color, any age. Man, woman, and child. It’s easier to assume that I am an angry Black woman than it is to just listen to what I’m trying to say and trying to understand what I mean. Like it has been said, Do NOT confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is me, My attitude is how YOU treat me.

 

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Because Morgan Freeman

 

Speaking of how you treat me. Black women are not objects. We are people. Marvelous creatures, but still people. A perfect example is the story of Saarjie Baartman, A South African woman who was taken from her home, to be exhibited in freak shows throughout Europe due to her extreme body features such as A large butt and hip and elongated labial lips. Baartman died on December 29th, 1815. But her time being displayed were not over. her brain, her skeleton, and her sexual organs were on display at a Paris museum until 1974. I’ll do the math for you. 159 years. 159 years AFTER her death, she was being objectified. Her body was nothing more to them than an artifact.

This was far from the end of Black women being objectified. During slavery, black women were consistently raped and beaten by slave owners. Which they didn’t even consider raped sure to the fact that they believed black women were “hypersexual” and since they wanted sex all the time anyways, no permission was needed.

Even in modern times, we hear and see have in music and music video Black women are objectified. not only black women but women in general, get called bitches and hoes. Shaking their asses in the music video all around men. Shown as strippers and prostitutes.   Female entertainers objectify themselves as well. Although there does seem to be a double stander when a Black woman does it vs when a white woman does it. But that’s for another day.

The reason I wanted to write this post was because I saw a photoshoot that tennis champion player, Serena Williams did for Sport illustrated. I think the pictures look great. I like them. Very tastefully done. But over the last few years, We have seen Serena body more than before. Even when she was in Beyonce’s “Sorry” video last year. I am in no way trying to make this seem like a bad thing. However, since then, I feel like the media gives her more attention now. When before where she and her sister were playing tennis, nd I was the little Black girl staring up at the t.v begging my mom for tennis lessons because I finally saw someone like me playing it, was when I felt she was the most influential. Yes, she has an AMAZING body. And I think she’s beautiful. But it’s like everyone else is starting to think so too because she has fewer clothes on.

 

It’s not the first time I feel like recognition is coming at the wrong time. Example, Halle Berry winning the Oscar from “Monster ball”. I’ve always enjoyed her movies. She was yet again, another Black woman doing things I didn’t know Black women could do. One Of my favorite performances of her was in the movie “Losing Isiah” Which she co-starred with Jessica Lang. She played a crack addict mother who loses her son, which Jessica Lang begins to take care of. It’s a heart-wrenching movie. Great performance by both. But, She did not win an Oscar until 2002, for her performance in “Monster Ball”. It was a role pretty far away from what she usually had done. Bit risky. With a pretty graphic sex scene in it. But why did it take a role like this, for her to be recognized as good enough? To this day she is still the only black woman to win an oscar for a leading role. That’s a story for another day.

 

My point is, it seems like black women are ignored until our cloth start falling off our bodies, our ass start shaking and our mouths stop moving. Disrespected, objectified then disregarded when it seems like they are no longer useful. WE HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS PATTERN!! This has been going on for far too long. We can only do it. ALL together. Not just black women, Black men too. Not just us Black people, All people.

 

“You think my black looks better on you.”

If you have not yet seen the spoken word poem “Hide Your Shea Butter.” By Crystal Valentine and Aaliyah Jihad, check it out first:


This poem hit home for me the moment I first saw it. Because it is all the things I have been saying for a while now. The black community has nothing of their own. Everything we make and create is not only taken from us, but we aren’t even credited in the first place. I wanted to just expand my thoughts on a few things that these amazing sistas mentioned in the video and give a deeper insight why we are now taking our culture back!

Kylie Jenner

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For the past few years now, Kylie Jenner has been a major influence in pop culture. From her colorful hair color choices to her curvy shape, many young girls look to her for inspiration. But who is she getting inspiration from? Black women.

Since the beginning of 2016, we have all picked up on the subtle and not so subtle changes Jenner has made to her appearance over the years. She went from a pretty ordinary white guy into a bombshell light-skinned black woman in just a few years. First starting with the fullness of her lips then to the roundness of her ass, slowly but surely, I, a grown black woman, was starting to see features of myself on this young white girl.

Not to say that some white women don’t have big butts or full lips. But in the past years, a “fat ass” was not a compliment to them. Go back to the 90’s, half of the workout videos were dedicated to keeping a slim butt. Jump to 2010’s and it is the complete opposite.

Hide your cocoa butter

In recent years, black women have been on a revolutionary journey with our natural hair.Taken to our kitchens, that have become beauty salons and science labs. Mixing and matching all kinds of oils, butters, and food based items to achieve beautiful, healthy hair. From Mayo and eggs to honey and coconut oil. Shea butters and olive oil. We have used things that not only can go in and on our bodies, but that can go in our hair as well. Black hair companies like Shea Moistures and Carols Daughter helped us take out all the guessing work on what will and will not work in out hair.  But within the last year or so, we have seen more “white” companies starting to incorporate these same kind products in their line up now. When before a lot of their products were based around vitamins like vitamins E, tea tree oils, and almond oils to name a few.

I say Bantu knots. You say mini buns

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WHAT THE FUCK ARE MINI BUNS! Sounds like what they would call bite-size cinnamon rolls or something. Mini buns are actually called Bantu knots. Believe to have been originated in the Zulu tribe, is a popular hairstyle choice for natural black women.

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The name mini buns come into play when fashion designer Marc Jacobs had his model wearing the style in his 2015 spring fashion show.About a year later, the conversation was brought up again when beauty blogger, Mane Addicts gave a hair tutorial on the “Mini Buns.” Another fine example of how black culture is stolen with no credit given to us.

You think my black looks better on you”

Why? Because society has praised and congratulated white people for the same things that they ridicule us for. Especially black women. For years I was teased about my fake hair. black women are counted out and put down because of it. Jokes are always being made. But now, women of all races wear extensions, wigs, and weaves. And no one bats an eye. They say, “oh well it could be her real hair, so it’s okay.” What kind of ass-backward shit is that? Because her extensions and pass for real she can do it, but because I got some 20 long straight hair, that couldn’t POSSIBLY ever be mine, it’s not okay? Almost every time of woman now wants A round ass and big thighs. When before, when black women who were born with these shapes were called fat ass and discarded because they weren’t sized 2’s. They think my black looks better on them because it’s seen as beautiful and sexy on them, but not me.

“You think getting black dick makes you black”

About half of my cousins are mixed. But only one is half white. Her mother, from what I know, primarily other dated black men even before marrying my uncle. But I can honestly say that even though she is married to a black man with a black child, she is still very much white. And I love her for that. Because too often when she not only white women but other women who date black men put on a show about who they are because of who they date.Again, why? Because these days black men are damn near protesting against dating black women for whatever reason. While looking for the same features we have,(Big butts, full legs, wide hips etc..) in other women. One thing I hear consistently about why black men won’t date black women is attitude. The myth of the angry black woman. Like we are the only women in the world to get angry ever! I’ve seen angry Asian women, angry latin women, who are also known for being feisty, and I have seen crazy, angry white women. Who you think be the one chopping off cheating husbands penises and shit?  All women get angry, but somehow we’re the ones with the label.

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“We are leaving white folks to be creative on their own”

From fashion to hairstyles to music and movies, black culture is continuously stolen from us. If we bring up that fact, so how we’re being racist. But every time a black person plays a white character, or even a character that is supposed to be black,  white people freak out. Remember when the internet world blew up because of black actress, Amandla Stenberg, play Rue in the Hunger Games. A character that is clearly written as black in the novels. Somewhere along the way, we lost something. The world got more comfortable with our “Blackness” and our “Black ways.” They wanted to do what we could do. But that still didn’t mean us black folks were apart of the club. Still, even as they listen to out music and watch our movies, we are still counted out. We are still put down. We aren’t allowed anything of our own anymore and aren’t allowed to speak out against that fact either. Everything is taken from us. At this point, Should we even be surprised? I will say this, though, we will no longer be silent and hold our tongues. When injustice is around, we will speak out against it. We will not have our voices lost in the noise. We will not hand out passes. We will take back what is ours and protect it. They are doing the same things they always have since they stole our ancestors from their homes some 350 years ago.The only difference is we aren’t doing the same thing.

I also want to make clear, the problem isn’t just white people. It’s society as a whole. It’s the tv shows, it’s the music. It’s black people too. The System we live in was set up to keep out black people. You have to think about it from the point of view of everything that pretty music our entertaining world revolves around, was all established during the times where being black was damn near and criminal act. The world and this country have never fully accepted black people. They do a lot of pretending, but never fully accept. So when we see the rest of the world feeding into that, instead of helping to prevent it from happening, it’s a little hard to not feel like the world is against you. But I know, all together, this is something we can stop, we just have to be willing to do it together.